one big dump.

I've been having serious bouts of depression lately.

I am beginning to think this is already some sort of psychological or mental disorder.

I told my Mom that I want to take the DSM-IV test to check if I really do have developmental or behavior disorder. She said my Aunt is the only one allowed to administer the test to prevent misdiagnosis.

Maybe it's just psychosomatic, but I still want to take the test so that I'd know what my problem is and how to manage it.

I have been struggling with depression for a long time now. I've become aware of this when I took Psychology 101 and Personality Psychology in college. When we briefly discussed the different personality disorders, I felt a tug in my heart. I just knew that I was going through one of those disorders.

I know that I can't just sit and wait to be "okay." I know that I should do something. And I also know that the only way I'd be okay is to go to a specialist and find out for myself.

Since my Aunt is a Developmental Pediatrician and she has access to the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), it's better that she does the diagnosis before I go to someone else.

Hmm, okay. Let me give you specifics.

I sometimes think I have Bi-Polar or or Manic-Depressive Disorder.

Hmm, Wikipedia says that, "Bipolar disorder is a condition in which people experience abnormally elevated (manic or hypomanic) and, in many cases, abnormally depressed states for periods of time in a way that interferes with functioning." That is a BIG CHECK for me. No more explaining need, eh? Hahaha.

Anyway... On to different things.

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After getting inhumanely and unjustly laid off for almost 5 months, I am just so glad that the worst is almost over.

I say almost because we our case against our previous company is still with National Labor Relations Commission and I don't think we are nearing a decision. I do hope that we win, though.

Ken and I have just hired a lawyer, and boy, he's not cheap!

So yeah, I really hope we win this case.

Transcom's lawyer/representative said that the company is willing to reinstate us. That's a nicer way of saying, "No, we don't want to pay." Of course, we don't want to go back. I don't think I can still work well after what they've done to us.

It's been almost six months, and if they were to follow the letter that they've served to us, we should be recalled to work with the same position and salary. Ken and I already have work and we both don't want to work there again. We're just after what we're due - which I think is reasonable. We're no longer even asking for moral damages. We're just asking for severance pay and backwages. If they can afford paying heaps of money undeserving managers, then I suppose paying us what's due us would be easy for them.

I am moving on, if only the case would be over soon!

So, I'm back to being a corporate slave again. I've been at it for almost 3 months and I still haven't adjusted well.

For one thing, I'm no longer holding a position. I really don't mind, it's nice being able to go home on time and not having to bring home work. But yeah, I'm still adjusting. I cannot just throw away what I've learned when I was still a trainer. It will always be with me.

I have been particulary struggling with unlearning the training policies I've adhered to for almost 2 years. I thought Transcom's training process was not good but when I transferred to a new company, I realized that what we had then was great. Of course, that's in reference to what we have now.

So what do I exactly do? I'm an HR Services Agent. It's very similar to the usual call center work but our job function is Human Resources. That being said, we handle Data Administration, Payroll and Benefits for one of the call centers in the US. It's safe to say that we're the HR officers for the company. We're first point of contact if employees have issues pertaining to their employment status, benefits, and paychecks.

Not bad, eh?

Hmm, yeah. Not bad at all. :)