[… a continuation.]
Whatever we had ended 3 years ago... but we still remained to be friends. We rarely kept in touch, but when we do find time to catch up via text, Skype, FB or even email, it was like nothing changed.
In the 3-4 years that we went out, we never had big fights. I couldn’t even remember a time when we had a [serious] argument. Sure, we’ve had our share of word wars, but those were mostly for the sake of discussion.
I loved talking to him, I never felt bored during our many conversations. It was always fun, entertaining, witty and sometimes intelligent... I always attributed that to the fact that we both came from the same school, I'm from UP Diliman while he's from UP LB then cross-enrolled to Diliman.
Come to think of it, he's the only guy I dated who graduated from UP. Maybe that's why he always stood out.
He's the very first person who encouraged me to become a trainer. He believed I had what it takes to become one. He even took the risk in offering me a post in one of the companies he helped put up. I accepted his offer, but only for one project. When he finally decided to get me full-time, I said no.
I always rejected him. He tried to "propose" commitment at least twice... and I always begged off. I was scared to take the risks. That was probably the only thing missing in the equation.
Our so-called non-relationship ended because I suddenly had a boyfriend... I told him about it on Christmas Day of 2008, of all days. How evil of me, right?
I knew I hurt him big time when he found out... How can I be in a relationship when just a few weeks ago before that we were coming up with our Christmas wish lists?
I also don't know how it came to be. I wanted to whack my head when I was reading through my old Multiply posts.
Looking back, I wish I never went into that relationship. It was a good 2 years wasted... But that's for another time.
As for j... It was good while it lasted... No, it was great. Even as a friend, he's always someone I can run to when I want to rant. He always had something good to say. He always had a way in making me feel better. He always listened without judging.
He was keen on details. During one of our SMS exchanges late last year, he reminded me of one of our past conversations. It had something to do with my aspirations and dreams 6 years ago. I could barely remember having that kind of talk with him, but he did. And he told me he remembered everything.
I wanted to tear up when I read his message. I never knew he valued our conversations enough for him remember, even 6 years after.
How I wish I have saved our last few conversations on Skype and through texts cos these are the only ways I can preserve what we had.
I can no longer bring those back. I would no longer have a constant person to turn to for anything.
On November 3rd, I lost him to death – I lost him forever.
Image from Google
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